Perpetual Joke Thread
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A woman went to the doctors office and is seen by one of the new young doctors.
After 4 minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran out the room and down the hall.
An older doctor stopped and asked what the problems was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor then marched down the hallway where the yong doctor was and demanded "What's the matter with you? Mrs Terry is 63 years old,
she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without lokking up, said "yes, but does she still have the hiccups?"
After 4 minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran out the room and down the hall.
An older doctor stopped and asked what the problems was, and she told him her story.
After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room.
The older doctor then marched down the hallway where the yong doctor was and demanded "What's the matter with you? Mrs Terry is 63 years old,
she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard, and without lokking up, said "yes, but does she still have the hiccups?"
A married couple got into an accident and the husbands face was badly burned.
The doctor told him that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too shinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt that would be suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one where the skin came from and they requested the doctor to also honour their secret.
After all this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed every was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before.
All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty.
One day he was at home with his wife and he was overcome with emotion with her sacrifice.
He said "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
She replied " My darling, I get all the thanks I need evertime I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
The doctor told him that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too shinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt that would be suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one where the skin came from and they requested the doctor to also honour their secret.
After all this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed every was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before.
All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty.
One day he was at home with his wife and he was overcome with emotion with her sacrifice.
He said "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"
She replied " My darling, I get all the thanks I need evertime I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
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Not sure about the fighter jet I think it's more of a bomber . lol
There is a mommy stork, a daddy stork, and a baby stork.
One day, daddy didn’t come home for dinner.
Mommy and baby were very worried.
When dad came home late the next morning, they asked what he was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” he replied.
About a week later, mommy didn’t come home for dinner.
Daddy and the baby were very worried.
When mom came home late the next morning, they asked what she was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” she replied.
A few days later, the baby didn’t come home for dinner.
Mom and dad were very worried.
When he came home very late the next morning, they asked him where he was.
Baby just grinned and said,
“I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”
One day, daddy didn’t come home for dinner.
Mommy and baby were very worried.
When dad came home late the next morning, they asked what he was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” he replied.
About a week later, mommy didn’t come home for dinner.
Daddy and the baby were very worried.
When mom came home late the next morning, they asked what she was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” she replied.
A few days later, the baby didn’t come home for dinner.
Mom and dad were very worried.
When he came home very late the next morning, they asked him where he was.
Baby just grinned and said,
“I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”
A 21 year old blonde girl met a large, powerfully built bodybuilder at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.
The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims, “Boom!”
The blonde says, “What a great chest you have!”
He tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby!”
He then rips off his pants, once again yelling, “Boom!”
The blonde is impressed and says, “My, what massive calves you have!”
The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.”
He then rips off his underwear, and exclaims “Boom!”
The blonde goes running out of the apartment, screaming in fear.
The bodybuilder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, “I didn’t want to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!”
She left in a hurry!
The body builder takes off his shirt, and while doing so, he exclaims, “Boom!”
The blonde says, “What a great chest you have!”
He tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby!”
He then rips off his pants, once again yelling, “Boom!”
The blonde is impressed and says, “My, what massive calves you have!”
The body builder tells her, “That’s 100 lbs of dynamite, baby.”
He then rips off his underwear, and exclaims “Boom!”
The blonde goes running out of the apartment, screaming in fear.
The bodybuilder puts his clothes back on and chases after her. He catches up to her and asks why she ran out of the apartment like that.
The blonde replies, “I didn’t want to be around all that dynamite when I saw how short the fuse was!”
She left in a hurry!
On her first day at the senior complex, the new manager addressed all the seniors pointing out some of her rules:
“The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males and the male dormitory for the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
She continued,
“Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
At this point, an older gentleman stood up in the crowd and inquired:
“How much for a season pass?”
“The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males and the male dormitory for the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
She continued,
“Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
At this point, an older gentleman stood up in the crowd and inquired:
“How much for a season pass?”